marriage quotes

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A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.
Mignon McLaughlin

By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll become happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
Socrates

Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.
James C. Dobson

A good marriage would be between a blind wife and a deaf husband.
Michel de Montaigne

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being.
Oscar Wilde

It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.
Friedrich Nietzsche

Let the wife make the husband glad to come home, and let him make her sorry to see him leave.
Martin Luther

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him.
Marilyn Monroe

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.
Rita Rudner

Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.
Franz Schubert

Every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it’s not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long.
Amy Grant

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it.
Lyndon B. Johnson

One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
Oscar Wilde

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.
Judith Viorst

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means.
Henny Youngman

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.
Doug Larson

When marrying, ask yourself this question: Do you believe that you will be able to converse well with this person into your old age? Everything else in marriage is transitory.
Friedrich Nietzsche

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret.
Henny Youngman

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.
Katharine Hepburn

A journey is like marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it.
John Steinbeck

I’d marry again if I found a man who had fifteen million dollars, would sign over half to me, and guarantee that he’d be dead within a year.
Bette Davis

No man should marry until he has studied anatomy and dissected at least one woman.
Honore de Balzac

All men make mistakes, but married men find out about them sooner.
Red Skelton

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.
James H. Boren

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished.
Zsa Zsa Gabor

“Marriage: Love is the reason. Lifelong friendship is the gift. Kindness is the cause. Til’ death do us part is the length.” -Fawn Weaver

“A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person.” -Mignon McLaughlin

“Being in a long marriage is a little bit like that nice cup of coffee every morning – I might have it every day, but I still enjoy it.” -Stephen Gaines

“The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me.” -Robert Brault

“A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.” -Ruth Bell Graham

“To find someone who will love you for no reason, and to shower that person with reasons, that is the ultimate happiness.” -Robert Brault

“A great spouse loves you exactly as you are. An extraordinary spouse helps you grow; inspires you to be, do and give your very best.” -Fawn Weaver

“We come to love not by finding a perfect person, but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.” -Sam Keen

“Love doesn’t make the world go round. Love is what makes the ride worthwhile.” -Unknown

“Where there is love, there is life.” -Mahatma Gandhi

“Once we figured out that we could not change each other, we became free to celebrate ourselves as we are.” -H. Dean Rutherford (in a letter to his wife on their 59th wedding anniversary)

“Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; working together is success.” -Henry Ford

“A great marriage is not when the ‘perfect couple’ comes together. It is when an imperfect couple learns to enjoy their differences.” -Dave Meurer

“Marriage is a commitment- a decision to do, all through life, that which will express your love for one’s spouse.” -Herman H. Kieval

“A fool in love makes no sense to me. I only think you are a fool if you do not love.” -Unknown

“In the arithmetic of love, one plus one equals everything and two minus one equals nothing.” -Mignon McLaughlin

“And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” -John Lennon and Paul McCartney

“You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you, and then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.” – Jamie Randall (from the movie, Love and Other Drugs)

“Love is always bestowed as a gift -freely, willingly, and without expectation. We don’t love to be loved, we love to love.” -Leo Buscagalia

“Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit.” -Peter Ustinov

“Enjoy the little things in life… For one day you’ll look back and realize they were the big things.” -Kurt Vonnegut

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It is focused attention.” -Rick Warren

“Keep the fire lit in your marriage and your life will be filled with warmth.” -Fawn Weaver

“You don’t marry one person; you marry three: the person you think they are, the person they are, and the person they are going to become as a result of being married to you.” -Richard Needham

“When you compromise your beliefs for the sake of gain, that is a lack of integrity. When you compromise your beliefs for the sake of greater understanding with your spouse, that’s called wisdom.” -Fawn Weaver

“One day, in your search for happiness, you discover a partner by your side, and you realize that your happiness has come to help you search.” -Robert Brault

“To keep your marriage brimming, with love in the wedding cup, whenever you’re wrong, admit it; whenever you’re right, shut up.” -Ogden Nash

“Love is the master key that opens the gates of happiness.” -Oliver Wendell Holmes

“Love is an ideal thing, marriage a real thing.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

?”No one can go back and change how it started but a new future for any marriage can begin the moment one person begins to invest in it.” -Fawn Weaver

“They say it takes a village to raise a child. That may be the case, but the truth is that it takes a lot of solid, stable marriages to create a village.” -Diane Sollee

“A happy marriage doesn’t mean you have a perfect spouse or a perfect marriage. It simply means you’ve chosen to look beyond the imperfections in both.” -Fawn Weaver

“There are a hundred paths through the world that are easier than loving. But who wants easier?” -Mary Oliver

“A good marriage is each for the other and two against the world.” -Robert Brault

“To keep the fire burning brightly there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart – about a finger’s breadth – for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule.” -Marnie Reed Crowell

“Marriage is the virtuous exploration of love in its purest form and pleasure in its highest state.” -Fawn Weaver

“In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all.” -Anne S Swetchine

“Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate.” -Barnett R. Brickner

“The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly.” -Peter De Vries

“Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years.” -Simone Signoret

“A marriage is not a noun; its a verb. It isn’t something you get. Its the way you love your partner everyday.” -Barbara De Angelis

“There is no greater happiness for a man than approaching a door at the end of a day knowing someone on the other side of that door is waiting for the sound of his footsteps.” -Ronald Reagan

“Sometimes two people stay together for the sake of the kids — two kids who sat under a full moon and pledged to be forever true.” -Robert Brault

“When people tell me they’ve learned from experience, I tell them the trick is to learn from other people’s experience.” -Warren Buffett

“Love doesn’t sit there like a stone, it has to be made, like bread; re-made everyday, made new.” -Ursula LeGuin

“Marriage is our society’s most pro-child institution. If you want kids to do well, then you want marriage to do well.” -David Blankenhorn

“The greatest weakness of most humans is their hesitancy to tell others how much they love them while they’re still alive.” -Olando Battista

“The more things we can laugh about, the more alive we become: The more things we can laugh about together, the more connected we become.” -Frank Pittman

“Marriage provides the solace of worked-on friendship and the joy of being known profoundly.” -Imogene Stubbs

“Was it love at first sight? It wasn’t then – but it sure is now.” -Ann Meara (comedian Ben Stiller’s mom), married 58 years

“There comes a time when a man and woman realize that their separate schemes can be better achieved as a conspiracy.” -Robert Brault

“The happy State of Matrimony is, undoubtedly, the surest and most lasting Foundation of Comfort and Love . . . the Cause of all good Order in the World, and what alone preserves it from the utmost Confusion.” -Benjamin Franklin

“A good marriage at age 50 predicted positive aging at 80. But, surprisingly, low cholesterol levels did not.” -George Valliant, MD, Harvard Medical School

“No one has ever measured (not even poets) how much love the heart can hold.” -Zelda Fitzgerald

“Marriage is like a fine wine, if tended properly, it just gets better with age.” -Unknown

“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.” -James C. Dobson

“Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage.” -Finnish Proverb

“Being married is the nicest thing to be.” -Germaine from the movie, “If A Man Answers”

“Follow your heart wherever it may take you and my heart is with You, YOU are my heart” -Belinda Descombes, HWC member

“One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again.” -Judith Viorst

“One of the greatest gifts you can give your husband is your own wholeness.” –Stormie Omartian

“I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.” -Rita Rudner

“When there is love in a marriage, there is harmony in the home; when there is harmony in the home, there is contentment in the community; when there is contentment in the community, there is prosperity in the nation; when there is prosperity in the nation, there is peace in the world.” -Chinese Proverb

“If it’s important to her, then it’s important to me.” -Greg Provance

“The couple who prays together – stays together.” -Unknown

“There is no greater risk than matrimony. But there is nothing happier than a happy marriage.” -Former British Prime Minister, Benjamin Disraeli

“I used to believe that marriage would diminish me, reduce my options. That you had to be someone less to live with someone else when, of course, you have to be someone more.” -Candice Bergen

“Marriage. It’s like a cultural hand-rail. It links folks to the past and guides them to the future.” -Diane Frolov

“A good marriage is one which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” – Pearl Buck

?”…Your gift to me is uninsurable. No appraiser can put a value on it… It’s like fruit of the month or a lifetime subscription – a perpetual-motion happiness machine. It starts off fresh and brand new every day, shining up my whole world…” -Ronald Reagan – in a letter to his wife Nancy

“Marriage: If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t expose it to the elements. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so, and it grows more beautiful and precious as time goes by.” – F. Burton Howard

“Excitement and fire are not qualities inherent to relationships they are what happen when two people make marriage the number one priority.” -Michele Weiner-Davis

“Your priorities aren’t what you SAY they are. They are revealed by how you live. What does your life say about the value of your family and marriage?” -Marriage Today

“Happiness: “You Bring Your Own Weather To The Picnic.” – Gretchen Rubin

“?A happy marriage has in it all the pleasures of friendship, all the enjoyment of sense and reason – and indeed all the sweets of life.” -Joseph Addison

“The greatest favour we can do our children is to give visible example of love and esteem to our spouse. As they grow up, they may then look forward to maturity so they too can find such love.” -Eucharista Ward

“Love like there’s no tomorrow, and if tomorrow comes, love again.” -Max Lucado

“Love is the condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” – Robert Heinlein

“?Love at first sight is easy to understand; it’s when two people have been looking at each other for a lifetime that it becomes a miracle.” -Sam Levenson

“Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that.” -Michael Leunig

“I got gaps; you got gaps; we fill each other’s gaps.” -Rocky Balboa (Rocky, the movie)

“Marriages, like a garden, take time to grow. But the harvest is rich unto those who patiently and tenderly care for the ground.” -Darlene Schacht

“Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, deep-burning and unquenchable.” -Joseph Addison

“The highest happiness on earth is the happiness of marriage.” -William Lyon Phelps

“Many marriages would be better if the husband and wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.” -Zig Ziglar

“The real act of marriage takes place in the heart, not in the ballroom or church or synagogue. It’s a choice you make on your wedding day, and over and over again and that choice is reflected in the way you treat your husband…” -Barbara De Angelis

“Motto for the bride and groom: We are a work in progress with a lifetime contract.” -Phyllis Koss

“What greater thing is there for two human souls than to feel that they are joined for life to strengthen each other in all labor, to rest on each other in all sorrow, to minister to each other in all pain, to be one with each other in silent, unspeakable memories at the moment of the last parting.” -George Eliot

“A good marriage is one in which allows for change and growth in the individuals and in the way they express their love.” -Pearl S. Buck

“A happy marriage is a selfless journey in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.” -George & Yvonne Levy

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” -Tom Mullen

“One of the most amazing gifts in life is to find someone who knows all your flaws, differences, and mistakes, yet still loves everything about you.” -Unknown

“In our daily lives, we must see that it is not happiness that makes us grateful, but the gratefulness that makes us happy.” -Albert Clark

“One of the most beautiful things in the world is a woman’s heart. It is fragile yet strong. Delicate yet resilient. When a woman gives you her heart, she gives you her most prized possession. If you love, nurture, cherish and protect it, she’ll give you the world.” -Fawn Weaver

“What I love most about my home is who I share it with.” -Unknown

“Nothing feels better than when you love someone with your whole heart and soul and they love you back even more.” -Karen Kostyla

“A good marriage is a contest of generosity.” -Diane Sawyer

“The best love is the one that makes you a better person, without changing you into someone other than yourself.” -Unknown

“Rules for a happy marriage: 1. Never both be angry at the same time. 2. Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire. 3. If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your spouse. 4. If you have to criticize, do it lovingly. 5. Never bring up mistakes from the past. 6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other. 7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled. 8. At least once a day say a kind word or pay a compliment to your partner. 9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and ask for forgiveness. 10. It takes two to make a quarrel, and the one in the wrong is usually the one who does the most talking.” -Unknown

“The goal in marriage is not to think alike, but to think together.” -Robert C. Dodds

“Married couples who love each other tell each other a thousand things without talking.” -Chinese Proverb

“The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.” -Theodore Hesburgh

“What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.” -Nathaniel Hawthorne

“A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short.” -Andre Maurois

“A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time.” -Anne Taylor Flemming
“The more you invest in a marriage, the more valuable it becomes.” – Amy Grant

“In marriage, each partner is to be an encourager rather than a critic, a forgiver rather than a collector of hurts, an enabler rather than a reformer.” -H. Norman Wright and Gary Oliver

“For you see, each day I love you more. Today more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.” -Rosemond Gerard

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.” -Tom Robbins

“New love is the brightest and long love is the greatest. But revived love is the tenderest thing known on earth.” -Thomas Hardy

“Make a list of ten of your spouse’s faults, which, for the sake of your marriage, you will always overlook. You can live with those ten.” -J & G Murphy

“In every marriage, more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and to continue to find, grounds for marriage.” -Robert Anderson

“Two things are owed to truthfulness: lasting marriages and short friendships.” -Robert Brault

“The sum which two married people owe to one another is defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity.” -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

“In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced.” -Robert Sexton

“You didn’t learn how to play an instrument well in one night. It will take time to learn how to “make music” with your spouse too.” -J & G Murphy

“More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse.” -Doug Larson

“Love is not something you look for… love is something you become.” -Alina Villasante

“It’s the little things that keep us together. Those little things will make me love you forever.” -Sonia Schaad

“Love is given to us as a time, but to keep it always, we must make it a place.” -Robert Brault

“Happiness is by choice…not by chance.” -Unknown

“We tend to forget that happiness doesn’t come as a result of getting something we don’t have but rather of recognizing and appreciating what we do have.” -Frederick Keonig

“Love is patient. Love is kind. Love does not envy. Love does not boast. Love is not proud. Love is not rude. Love is not self-seeking. Love is not easily angered. Love keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil. Love rejoices with the truth. Love always protects. Love always trusts. Love always hopes. Love always perseveres. Love never fails.” -1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

“Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.” -Unknown

“Lean on each other’s strengths. Forgive each other’s weaknesses.” -Unknown

“There is only one happiness in life; to love and be loved.” -George Sand

“It is love, not reason, that is stronger than death.” -Thomas Mann

“Turn your love into promises, that when you doubt your love, you may simply ask, “Am I keeping my promises?” -Robert Brault

“The highest love a person can have for you is to wish you to evolve into the best person you can be.” -David Viscott

“Good relationships don’t just happen. They take time, patience, and two people who truly want to be together.” -Unknown

“Being someone’s first love may be great, but to be their last is beyond perfect.” -Unknown

“Don’t compare your love story to those you watch in movies. They’re written by screenwriters, yours is written by God.” -Unknown

“Any reason is a good reason and any time is a good time to say ‘I Love You.’” -Fawn Weaver

“A relationship is like a house. When a light bulb burns out you don’t go and buy a new house, you change the light bulb.” -Unknown

“I want a marriage more beautiful than my wedding.” -Unknown

“Motto for the bride and groom. We are a work in progress with a lifetime commitment.” -Unknown

“Any home can be a castle when the king and queen are in love.” -Unknown

“Happy marriages begin when we marry the ones we love, and they blossom when we love the ones we marry.” -Tom Mullen

“Family: Where life begins and love never ends.” -Unknown

“What I love most about my home is who I share it with.” -Tad Carpenter

“To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.” -Unknown

“The most desired gift of love is not diamonds or roses or chocolate. It’s focused attention.” -Rick Warren

“They say, ‘It is better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all.’ I say, ‘It is better to love and when you get discouraged, love some more, and never lose your love at all.” -Fawn Weaver

“If you want to know where your heart is, look to where your mind goes when it wonders.” -Unknown

“You meet thousands of people and none of them really touch you; and then you meet one person and your life is changed forever.” -Unknown

“A happy man married the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.” -Susan Douglas

“There is no such thing as a perfect man or a perfect marriage. But the one I have is perfect for me.” -Fawn Weaver

“A great spouse loves you exact the way you are. An extraordinary spouse helps you grow; inspires you to be, do and give your very best.” -Fawn Weaver

“You don’t love someone because they’re perfect. You love them in spite of the fact they’re not.” -Jodi Picoult

“The highest love a person can have for you is to wish you to evolve into the best person you can be.” -David Viscott
“May our last kisses be many years from now and taste of one another’s lips.”
Source Unknown
Submitted by Julie Hintz

174. “Marriage may be made in heaven, but the maintenance must be done on earth.”
Source Unknown
Submitted by Anonymous

258. “Two hearts that have been merged is marriage; two souls that have been merged is fate.”
Source Unknown
Submitted by Danny

264. “Love is not sweet talks and flowers, but love is forgiving and compromising.”
Source Unknown
Submitted by Kenny Lee

272. “I know that you are not perfect and nor can I claim to be either, but please believe me, when I say that I want to be by your side, to hold your hand, to treasure you in the morning and in the noon-tide, to be next to you, to be held close to your heart now and for the rest of my living years, to comfort you, dry your tears and calm your most frightening fears, to fight your battles and show no shame to scream my love for you out loud all over the land.”
Source Unknown
Submitted by Indira

277. “When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize.”
Proverbs 31:10-11
Submitted by Anonymous

541. “Love me without fear.Trust me without wondering.Love me without restrictions.Want me without demand.Accept me how I am.A love like that, will be eternal!”
Source Unknown
Submitted by Lvanna

631. “I guarantee there’ll be tough times; I guarantee that at some point, one, or both of us is gonna wanna get out of this thing; But I also guarantee, that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life… because I know in my heart, that you’re the only one for me.”
from the movie “Runaway Bride”
Submitted by MiriamJ

What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow. ~Nathaniel Hawthorne

The older I get, the less time I want to spend with the part of the human race that didn’t marry me. ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband a month before she marries him and what she thinks of him a year afterward, and you will have the truth about him. ~H.L. Mencken, A Book of Burlesques, 1916

The bonds of matrimony are like any other bonds – they mature slowly. ~Peter De Vries

To keep the fire burning brightly there’s one easy rule: Keep the two logs together, near enough to keep each other warm and far enough apart – about a finger’s breadth – for breathing room. Good fire, good marriage, same rule. ~Marnie Reed Crowell

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. ~Rita Rudner

Marriage, n. A community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves, making in all two. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can’t sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can’t sleep with the window open. ~George Bernard Shaw

Newlyweds become oldyweds, and oldyweds are the reasons that families work. ~Author Unknown

Chains do not hold a marriage together. It is threads, hundreds of tiny threads which sew people together through the years. ~Simone Signoret

Success in marriage does not come merely through finding the right mate, but through being the right mate. ~Barnett R. Brickner

A long marriage is two people trying to dance a duet and two solos at the same time. ~Anne Taylor Fleming

Woke up in bed with a gorgeous woman, who I’m going to have lunch and the rest of my life with. ~Jason Barmer, pedestriansaint.com

More marriages might survive if the partners realized that sometimes the better comes after the worse. ~Doug Larson

One advantage of marriage is that, when you fall out of love with him or he falls out of love with you, it keeps you together until you fall in again. ~Judith Viorst

Never get married in the morning, because you never know who you’ll meet that night. ~Paul Hornung

Divorce: The past tense of marriage. ~Author Unknown

Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. ~Katherine Hepburn

A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

In every marriage more than a week old, there are grounds for divorce. The trick is to find, and continue to find, grounds for marriage. ~Robert Anderson, Solitaire & Double Solitaire

There is no such cozy combination as man and wife. ~Menander

Two things are owed to truthfulness – lasting marriages and short friendships. ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

It destroys one’s nerves to be amiable every day to the same human being. ~Benjamin Disraeli

The sum which two married people owe to one another defies calculation. It is an infinite debt, which can only be discharged through eternity. ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. ~Phyllis Diller, Phyllis Diller’s Housekeeping Hints, 1966

In the opinion of the world, marriage ends all, as it does in a comedy. The truth is precisely the opposite: it begins all. ~Anne Sophie Swetchine

In a time when nothing is more certain than change, the commitment of two people to one another has become difficult and rare. Yet, by its scarcity, the beauty and value of this exchange have only been enhanced. ~Robert Sexton

An object in possession seldom retains the same charm that it had in pursuit. ~Pliny the Younger, Letters

If you made a list of the reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you’d have a hell of a lot of overlapping. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

A man marries to have a home, but also because he doesn’t want to be bothered with sex and all that sort of thing. ~W. Somerset Maugham

If two stand shoulder to shoulder against the gods,
Happy together, the gods themselves are helpless
Against them while they stand so.
~Maxwell Anderson

After the chills and fever of love, how nice is the 98.6º of marriage! ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

There is no substitute for the comfort supplied by the utterly taken-for granted relationship. ~Iris Murdoch

English Law prohibits a man from marrying his mother-in-law. This is our idea of useless legislation. ~Author Unknown

A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. ~Paul Sweeney

Matrimony is a process by which a grocer acquired an account the florist had. ~Francis Rodman

Marriage is a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. ~Beverley Nichols

Valentine’s Day is when a lot of married men are reminded what a poor shot Cupid really is. ~Author Unknown

Love is a flower which turns into fruit at marriage. ~Finnish Proverb

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. ~James H. Boren

All marriages are happy. It’s the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. ~Raymond Hull

One of the good things that come of a true marriage is, that there is one face on which changes come without your seeing them; or rather there is one face which you can still see the same, through all the shadows which years have gathered upon it. ~George MacDonald

As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will, he will be sure to repent. ~Socrates

Love seems the swiftest but it is the slowest of all growths. No man or woman really knows what perfect love is until they have been married a quarter of a century. ~Mark Twain

Never feel remorse for what you have thought about your wife; she has thought much worse things about you. ~Jean Rostand, Le Mariage, 1927

Any intelligent woman who reads the marriage contract, and then goes into it, deserves all the consequences. ~Isadora Duncan

When two people are under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions, they are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part. ~G.B. Shaw, Getting Married, 1908

A first-rate marriage is like a first-rate hotel: expensive, but worth it. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

Our wedding was many years ago. The celebration continues to this day. ~Gene Perret

Here’s to matrimony, the high sea for which no compass has yet been invented! ~Heinrich Heine

The reason for much matrimony is patrimony. ~Ogden Nash

I figure that the degree of difficulty in combining two lives ranks somewhere between rerouting a hurricane and finding a parking place in downtown Manhattan. ~Claire Cloninger, “When the Glass Slipper Doesn’t Fit and the Silver Spoon is in Someone Else’s Mouth”

A man’s wife has more power over him than the state has. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson, Journals

Marriage: that I call the will of two to create the one who is more than those who created it. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Three rings of marriage are the engagement ring, the wedding ring, and the suffering. ~Author Unknown

Though marriage makes man and wife one flesh, it leaves ‘em still two fools. ~William Congreve

Marriage ceremony: an incredible metaphysical sham of watching God and the law being dragged into the affairs of your family. ~O.C. Ogilvie

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he’s finished. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

One should never know too precisely whom one has married. ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Bigamy is having one husband or wife too many. Monogamy is the same. ~Oscar Wilde

Spouse: someone who’ll stand by you through all the trouble you wouldn’t have had if you’d stayed single. ~Author Unknown

Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity. ~Author Unknown

Like good wine, marriage gets better with age – once you learn to keep a cork in it. ~Gene Perret

Marriage is a great institution, but I’m not ready for an institution. ~Mae West

My wife says I never listen to her. At least I think that’s what she said. ~Author Unknown

I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late. ~Max Kauffman

Don’t smother each other. No one can grow in shade. ~Leo Buscaglia

Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without. ~James C. Dobson

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. ~Lord Byron

The chief reason why marriage is rarely a success is that it is contracted while the partners are insane. ~Joseph Collins

We have the greatest pre-nuptial agreement in the world. It’s called love. ~Gene Perret

It takes a loose rein to keep a marriage tight. ~John Stevenson

Mistress: something between a mister and a mattress. ~Author Unknown

Mother-in-law: a woman who destroys her son-in-law’s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers. ~Author Unknown

Bachelor: the only man who has never told his wife a lie. ~Author Unknown

Wedding rings: the world’s smallest handcuffs. ~Author Unknown

How can a woman be expected to be happy with a man who insists on treating her as if she were a perfectly normal human being. ~Oscar Wilde

Many a man in love with a dimple makes the mistake of marrying the whole girl. ~Stephen Leacock, Literary Lapses, 1910

The most dangerous food is wedding cake. ~American Proverb

Strange to say what delight we married people have to see these poor fools decoyed into our condition. ~Samuel Pepys

Home cooking: where many a man thinks his wife is. ~Author Unknown

Love: A temporary insanity curable by marriage. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary

Marriage is not a word – it is a sentence. ~Author Unknown

Our marriage has always been a 50-50 proposition – with the possible exception of closet space. ~Gene Perret

There is so little difference between husbands you might as well keep the first. ~Adela Rogers St. Johns

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her. ~Sacha Guitry, Elles et toi, 1948

It isn’t tying himself to one woman that a man dreads when he thinks of marrying; it’s separating himself from all the others. ~Helen Rowland, Violets and Vinegar

Once a woman has forgiven her man, she must not reheat his sins for breakfast. ~Marlene Dietrich

Only choose in marriage a man whom you would choose as a friend if he were a woman. ~Joseph Joubert

Never strike your wife – even with a flower. ~Hindu Proverb

The difficulty with marriage is that we fall in love with a personality, but must live with a character. ~Peter Devries

The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money usually costs a lot less. ~Brendan Behan

So heavy is the chain of wedlock that it needs two to carry it, and sometimes three. ~Alexandre Dumas, fils

Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. ~Langdon Mitchell

Bride, n. A woman with a fine prospect behind her. ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil’s Dictionary, 1911

If your husband and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose, would you go to lunch or to a movie? ~Author Unknown

What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility. ~George Levinger

Love-matches are made by people who are content, for a month of honey, to condemn themselves to a life of vinegar. ~Countess of Blessington

Almost no one is foolish enough to imagine that he automatically deserves great success in any field of activity; yet almost everyone believes that he automatically deserves success in marriage. ~Sydney J. Harris

That quiet mutual gaze of a trusting husband and wife is like the first moment of rest or refuge from a great weariness or a great danger. ~George Eliot

The husband who doesn’t tell his wife everything probably reasons that what she doesn’t know won’t hurt him. ~Leo J. Burke

You can never be happily married to another until you get a divorce from yourself. Successful marriage demands a certain death to self. ~Jerry McCant

Married life teaches one invaluable lesson: to think of things far enough ahead not to say them. ~Jefferson Machamer

It’s easy to understand love at first sight, but how do we explain love after two people have been looking at each other for years? ~Author Unknown

The majority of husbands remind me of an orangutan trying to play the violin. ~Honore de Balzac, The Physiology of Marriage

Never marry for money. Ye’ll borrow it cheaper. ~Scottish Proverb

Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who’ll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you’re in the wrong house, that’s what it means. ~Henny Youngman

It’s a nasty divorce when they can’t agree on how to divvy up the His and Hers towels. ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

The problem with marriage is that it ends every night after making love, and it must be rebuilt every morning before breakfast. ~Gabriel García Márquez

She cried, and the judge wiped her tears with my checkbook. ~Tommy Manville

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy; if you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. ~Socrates

A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers. ~Ruth Bell Graham

Pity all newlyweds. She cooks something nice for him, and he brings her flowers, and they kiss and think: How easy marriage is. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

One man’s folly is another man’s wife. ~Helen Rowland

Women hope men will change after marriage but they don’t; men hope women won’t change but they do. ~Bettina Arndt, Private Lives, 1986

Marriage halves our griefs, doubles our joys, and quadruples our expenses. ~English Proverb

It was Mrs. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as “the deep, deep peace of the double-bed after the hurly-burly of the chaise-longue.” ~Alexander Woollcott, While Rome Burns

Before marriage, a girl has to make love to a man to hold him. After marriage, she has to hold him to make love to him. ~Marilyn Monroe

A perfect marriage is one in which “I’m sorry” is said just often enough. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Marriage must constantly fight against a monster which devours everything: routine. ~Honore de Balzac

Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn’t they’d be married too. ~H.L. Mencken

In marriage there are no manners to keep up, and beneath the wildest accusations no real criticism. Each is familiar with that ancient child in the other who may erupt again…. We are not ridiculous to ourselves. We are ageless. That is the luxury of the wedding ring. ~Enid Bagnold, Autobiography, 1969

Many marriages are simply working partnerships between businessmen and housekeepers. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

The highest happiness on earth is marriage. ~William Lyon Phelps

It is not for the fresh cheek, the full lip, the fair forehead, the parted sweeps of sunny hair, and the girlish charm of form and features, that we love the wives who have walked hand in hand with us for years, but for new graces, opening each morning like flowers in the parterre, their predecessors having accomplished their beautiful mission and gone to seed. Old love renewed again, through new motives to love, is certainly a thing lovely in itself, and desirable by all whose ambition and happiness it is to sit supreme in a single heart… ~Timothy Titcomb (Josiah Gilbert Holland), Gold-foil: Hammered from Popular Proverbs

Marriage is more than four bare legs in a bed. ~Hoshang N. Akhtar

A fellow ought to save a few of the long evenings he spends with his girl till after they’re married. ~Kin Hubbard

Two mothers-in-law. ~Lord John Russell, on being asked what he would consider a proper punishment for bigamy

Though women are angels, yet wedlock’s the devil. ~Byron, Hours of Idleness

A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. ~Joey Adams

A question asked in a Surrey school exam went: “Why do cocks crow early every morning?” A twelve-year-old replied: “My dad says they have to make the most of it while the hens are asleep.” ~Quoted in the Peterborough Daily Telegraph, 1983

A man may be a fool and not know it, but not if he is married. ~H.L. Mencken

Marriage is a meal where the soup is better than the dessert. ~Austin O’Malley

One shouldn’t be too inquisitive in life
Either about God’s secrets or one’s wife.
~Geoffrey Chaucer, The Canterbury Tales

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love. ~Jackie Gleason

For two people in a marriage to live together day after day is unquestionably the one miracle the Vatican has overlooked. ~Bill Cosby, Love and Marriage

I have learned that only two things are necessary to keep one’s wife happy. First, let her think she’s having her own way. And second, let her have it. ~Lyndon B. Johnson

Marriage is a ghastly public confession of a strictly private intention. ~Ian Hay

Some marriages break up, and some do not, and in our world you can usually explain the former better than the latter. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

My mother said it was simple to keep a man, you must be a maid in the living room, a cook in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom. I said I’d hire the other two and take care of the bedroom bit. ~Jerry Hall

The marriage state, with or without the affection suitable to it, is the completest image of Heaven and Hell we are capable of receiving in this life. ~Richard Steele, The Spectator

Adultery is the application of democracy to love. ~Henry Louis Mencken, “Sententiae,” A Book of Burlesques, 1920

A dog is much like a married man, obeying his master’s voice for the sake of his master’s touch. ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

A happy marriage is a long conversation which always seems too short. ~Andre Maurois

Marriage: A legal or religious ceremony by which two persons of the opposite sex solemnly agree to harass and spy on each other for ninety-nine years, or until death do them join. ~Elbert Hubbard

In the early years, you fight because you don’t understand each other. In the later years, you fight because you do. ~Joan Didion

It is easy to mistake being ready for a wedding with being ready for marriage. ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

Marriage isn’t all that it’s cracked up to be. Let me tell you, honestly. Marriage is probably the chief cause of divorce. ~Larry Gelbart, M*A*S*H, “Bulletin Board,” original airdate 14 January 1975, spoken by the character Frank Burns

When a girl marries she exchanges the attentions of many men for the inattention of one. ~Helen Rowland

In the long run wives are to be paid in a peculiar coin – consideration for their feelings. As it usually turns out this is an enormous, unthinkable inflation few men will remit, or if they will, only with a sense of being overcharged. ~Elizabeth Hardwick, Seduction and Betrayal, 1974

Before marriage, a man declares that he would lay down his life to serve you; after marriage, he won’t even lay down his newspaper to talk to you. ~Helen Rowland

Being divorced is like being hit by a Mack truck. If you live through it, you start looking very carefully to the right and to the left. ~Jean Kerr, Mary, Mary, 1960

Marriage changes passion – suddenly you’re in bed with a relative. ~Author Unknown

It is not marriage that fails; it is people that fail. All that marriage does is to show people up. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. ~Grace Hansen

The view that a peptic ulcer may be the hole in a man’s stomach through which he crawls to escape from his wife has fairly wide acceptance. ~John Allan Dalrymple Anderson

Marriage is a feast where the grace is sometimes better than the dinner. ~Charles Caleb Colton

I’ve been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take the garbage out. ~Lee Grant

Often the difference between a successful marriage and a mediocre one consists of leaving about three or four things a day unsaid. ~Harlan Miller

The man who never in his life
Has washed the dishes with his wife
Or polished up the silver plate -
He still is largely celibate.
~Christopher Morley, Washing the Dishes

A love that lasts for twenty years may be better than love, but it isn’t love. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

God created sex. Priests created marriage. ~Voltaire

To avoid mistakes and regrets, always consult your wife before engaging in a flirtation. ~E.W. Howe

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. ~Henny Youngman

Marriage is a mistake every man should make. ~George Jessel

I guess walking slow getting married is because it gives you time to maybe change your mind. ~Virginia Cary Hudson, O Ye Jigs & Juleps, 1962 (Thanks, Charlene)

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted. ~Helen Rowland

My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God, and I didn’t. ~Author Unknown

Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other never forgets them. ~Ogden Nash

One thing you learn in a long marriage is how many sneezes to wait before saying, “Bless you.” ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

Husbands are like fires. They go out when unattended. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

The concern that some women show at the absence of their husbands, does not arise from their not seeing them and being with them, but from their apprehension that their husbands are enjoying pleasures in which they do not participate, and which, from their being at a distance, they have not the power of interrupting. ~Michel de Montaigne

But married once, a man is stak’d or pown’d, and cannot graze beyond his own hedge. ~Philip Massinger, Fatal Dowry, 1632

Marriage is the only war in which you sleep with the enemy. ~François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld

Why do married men gain weight while bachelors don’t? Bachelors go to the refrigerator, see nothing they want, then go to bed. Married guys go to the bed, see nothing they want, then go to the refrigerator. ~Author Unknown

I never married because there was no need. I have three pets at home which answer the same purpose as a husband. I have a dog which growls every morning, a parrot which swears all afternoon, and a cat that comes home late at night. ~Marie Corelli

Women seem to be all right on bargains till it comes to picking out a husband. ~Kin Hubbard

After a few years of marriage, a man can look right at a woman without seeing her – and a woman can see right through a man without looking at him. ~Helen Rowland

Why get married? For human beings, marriage is such an unnatural state. If you want monogamy, it has been said, you should marry a swan. ~Quentin Crisp, “The Art of Celibacy”

Wives are young men’s mistresses; companions for middle age; and old men’s nurses. ~Francis Bacon, “Of Marriage and Single Life,” Essays or Counsels, Civil and Moral, 1625

Marriage: A word which should be pronounced “mirage.” ~Herbert Spencer

A man without a wife is like a vase without flowers. ~African Proverb

A woman ought to look up to her husband, if only a half-inch. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

A woman who loves her husband is merely paying her bills. A woman who loves her lover gives alms to the poor. ~Paul-Jean Toulet

Love requires a willingness to die; marriage, a willingness to live. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

Give up all hope of peace so long as your mother-in-law is alive. ~Juvenal, Satires

We were happily married for eight months. Unfortunately, we were married for four and a half years. ~Nick Faldo

Men never know how tired they are till their wives sit them down for a nice long talk. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

The reason they’re called the opposite sex is because every time you think you have your wife fooled – it’s just the opposite! ~Walter Winchell

By the time you’re his
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is
Infinite, undying
Lady, make a note of this:
One of you is lying.
~Dorothy Parker

Originally marriage meant the sale of a woman by one man to another; now most women sell themselves though they have no intention of delivering the goods listed in the bill of sale. ~Robert Graves

If I ever marry, it will be on a sudden impulse – as a man shoots himself. ~H.L. Mencken

My wife tells me she doesn’t care what I do when I’m away, as long as I’m not enjoying it. ~Lee Trevino

To keep your marriage brimming,
With love in the loving cup,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever you’re right, shut up.
~Ogden Nash

“What’s for dinner?” is the only question many husbands ask their wives, and the only one to which they care about the answer. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

Most marriages can survive “better or worse.” The tester is all the years of “exactly the same.” ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

Hubert Humphrey talks so fast that listening to him is like trying to read Playboy magazine with your wife turning the pages. ~Barry Goldwater

People do not marry people, not real ones anyway; they marry what they think the person is; they marry illusions and images. The exciting adventure of marriage is finding out who the partner really is. ~James L. Framo, “Explorations in Marital & Family Therapy”

Men have a much better time of it than women. For one thing, they marry later; for another thing, they die earlier. ~H.L. Mencken

I dreamed of a wedding of elaborate elegance,
A church filled with family and friends.
I asked him what kind of a wedding he wished for,
He said one that would make me his wife.
~Author Unknown

No man expects a great deal from marriage. He is quite satisfied if his wife is a good cook, a good valet, an attentive audience, and a patient nurse. ~Author Unknown

Think not because you are now wed
That all your courtship’s at an end.
~Antonio Hurtado de Mendoza

Alimony is like buying oats for a dead horse. ~Arthur Baer

I came from a big family. As a matter of fact, I never got to sleep alone until I was married. ~Lewis Grizzard

There is no more lovely, friendly and charming relationship, communion or company than a good marriage. ~Martin Luther

Alimony – The ransom that the happy pay to the devil. ~H.L. Mencken, “Sententiae,” A Book of Burlesques, 1920

If marriage were outlawed, only outlaws would have in-laws. ~Author Unknown

As a general guideline, never marry anyone that you can’t picture helping you go to the bathroom. ~Robert Brault, http://www.robertbrault.com

Getting divorced just because you don’t love a man is almost as silly as getting married just because you do. ~Zsa Zsa Gabor

I’ve sometimes thought of marrying, and then I’ve thought again. ~Noel Coward, 1956

Thus Dante’s motto over Inferno applies with equal force to marriage: “Ye who enter here leave all hope behind.” ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love

Wasn’t marriage, like life, unstimulating and unprofitable and somewhat empty when too well ordered and protected and guarded. Wasn’t it finer, more splendid, more nourishing, when it was, like life itself, a mixture of the sordid and the magnificent; of mud and stars; of earth and flowers; of love and hate and laughter and tears and ugliness and beauty and hurt. ~Edna Ferber, Show Boat, 1926

“I am” is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that “I do” is the longest sentence? ~Author Unknown

Affairs are just as disillusioning as marriage, and much less restful. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic’s Notebook, 1966

Marriage is a lottery in which men stake their liberty and women their happiness. ~Virginie des Rieux, Epigrams

Wedlock is a padlock. ~John Ray, English Proverbs

The marriage of convenience has this to recommend it: we are better judges of convenience than we are of love. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight. ~Samuel Lichtenberg

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. ~H.V. Prochnow

Marriage is like pleading guilty to an indefinite sentence. Without parole. ~John Mortimer, The Trials of Rumpole

One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. ~M.M. Musselman

Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. ~Irwin Corey

If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. ~Katharine Houghton Hepburn

The total amount of undesired sex endured by women is probably greater in marriage than in prostitution. ~Bertrand Russell, Marriage and Morals

Love, the strongest and deepest element in all life, the harbinger of hope, of joy, of ecstasy; love, the defier of laws, of all conventions; love, the freest, the most powerful molder of human destiny; how can such an all-compelling force be synonymous with that poor little State- and church-begotten weed, marriage? ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love

What we love about love is the fever, which marriage puts to bed and cures. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Neurotic’s Notebook, 1960

Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love. ~William Penn

On rare occasions one does hear of a miraculous case of a married couple falling in love after marriage, but on close examination it will be found that it is a mere adjustment to the inevitable. ~Emma Goldman, Marriage and Love